dead babies, yum

 Your Score: Spiteful Loner

You are 71% Rational, 0% Extroverted, 57% Brutal, and 14% Arrogant.

You are the Spiteful Loner, the personality type that is most likely to go on a shooting rampage. In high school, you were probably that kid who wore all black and who sat alone in a corner of the lunch room, drawing pictures of dead babies. You are a rational person and tend to hold emotions in very low-esteem; not only that, but you are also rather introverted, meaning you probably bury any emotions you feel deep inside yourself, like all of the bodies in your backyard. Combine these traits with your dislike of others and your brutality, and it seems that you would be quite likely to shoot innocent people in a rampage. Most likely, you also have low self-esteem. Hell, I get low self-esteem just looking at you. This is only yet one more incentive to go on a shooting rampage, because you wouldn’t care if you died as a result. Granted, you probably haven’t gone on a shooting rampage and probably never will, but all the motivations are there. All you need is for someone to push you over the edge, calling you names and belittling you. Like me. But don’t shoot me. I have a 101 mile-long knife, you know. In conclusion, your personality is defective because you are too introverted, brutal, insecure, and rather unemotional. No wonder no one hangs around you, you morbid, cold-hearted freak!

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.

4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Televangelist.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Capitalist Pig, the Smartass, and the Sociopath.

Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

rant, possibly boring

the so-called pharmacy welcome tea turned out to be a load of propaganda for the nus science program. i never thought i’d be the kind to be loyal to ntu, whenever the satisfaction surveys came out last year i always put neutral on the questions asking about whether an insult to ntu felt like a personal insult, but this morning the dean kept putting MY UNIVERSITY down and it seriously pissed me off. he kept bringing up the times higher education ranking thing that put nus in the global top 20, above oxford and stanford and princeton and cornell, which i dont for one moment believe. and right at the bottom, in teensy weensy font, was

NTU: Ranked 81st.

he never once mentioned how the nus hostels are like little factory-worker prisons, how the toilets there are impossible to find, how the school blocks are packed together and everywhere you turn youre surrounded by concrete, how 95 comes once every 20 minutes even at 830am when students flood the bus stop. i know ntu students complain about the 179, but that bus comes two double-deckers a minute in the morning. but then maybe there are other buses to nus. but that doesnt explain the toilets! which in ntu are at every other lift column, both male and female, but in nus are arbitrarily scattered about on male and female floors, and not even alternating floors either. or the incredible studying places at ntu, spread out in the middle of trees and green and wind, instead of the crowded blocks in nus with corridors leading to air-con ducts.

ok so its the course itself that matters, but the environment makes up a huge part of the experience and i dunno. the dean was just arrogant.

anyway the shopping has started, i bought my very first skirt! have ten cents left in my wallet (i counted twice) and four days left till june

today is Towel Day

but i spent most of it at bb sleeping and occasionally waking up to drink milo from the carton (i finished a litre) so i didnt have any occasion to wrap a towel round my head and parade around. wore my yellow towel shorts on the way home though, so probably that counts..

am feeling very very lazy and flabby but i cant bring myself to go out running around job-hunting because i am also very broke; mustve spent 200 in the past one and a half weeks alone and i know a nice 6/hr (cant get better than that cos i will get rejected by anything requiring an interview) will get me out of this funk but for now i sit at home and refuse to even look at a bus in case my ezlink card mysteriously empties itself, as it is so wont to alarmingly often.

BUT I WANT TO SHOP

today is also Eat Dinner With Your Family Day (it’s a national campaign, singapore really impresses me sometimes) so night classes were cancelled and my mom and all her colleagues got chased home from work to engage in Family Bonding. had fishy steamboat dinner, she ate all the bony bits and gave the meat to me and my dad. i think she loves him very much, which for reasons hidden depresses me to no end.

goshdarnit, i will find myself a job by the beginning of june.

no one should have to read my whinges, but here is one anyway

okay so i just ruined any chance at studying in nus, because the Vice Dean Of The NUS Faculty Of Science called me to ask if i really wanted pharmacy or science (not before first telling me that there was basically no hope of a letter from dentistry this late) because if i said yes they would have to do a lot of paperwork and i would have to go for an interview and so i shouldnt waste their time if i didnt really really reeeeallly want it. so i chickened out at the last minute and told him no.

so.

hoho, maybe i should just make a list of courses in ntu and chuck darts at it

linkses

ive got a whole bunch of random links that i desperately want to share with people because im generous and want others to partake in the unearthly pleasures of reading about clingfilm and playing with bubbles, but then ive realised that no one usually responds to links when i stick them in msn convos, probably because i kind of hate it when people stick a link into a convo with me and expect me to click on it and wait for the page to load and pay attention and then make some comment on its brilliant hilarity. unless, of course, it’s actually funny.

woe, for i am irritating.

so i will stick them here! this way you can choose whether or not to click on them.

but you should, because they’re really good.

—

link: lool cute. i love this site!

link: So it is with me and Roy and clingfilm. That is my monk up a tree.

link: burst the bubbles! i couldnt resist and msned it, but EVERYONE IGNORED IT. i remain undaunted, however, and i promise it gets better when you have to explode more bubbles.

yah, i really need to get a job or something. kthxbai

two a.m., and the rain is refusing to humour my black mood

im lying in bed trying to fall asleep, and all i can think about is how badly ive messed uni up. i shouldve just done my homework and applied for a scholarship last year straight out of the As, i shouldve gone and looked for good environmental science programs, i shouldve not, SO NOT chosen comm studies. my only A came from the air quality management elective in sem 1, and seven months after i last touched my notes i can still remember how the very process of filtration in baghouse filters leads to higher filtration levels because the accumulation of particles makes the pores smaller, how a counterflowing mist of water is sprayed into cyclones to prevent entrainment of particulates, that the highest concentration of air pollutants is found at 10m above ground level. the lecturer was mostly unintelligible and there was physics involved, for god’s sake (and i know i owe quite a bit to CHIA TAO MING THOMAS for that, thankyou mlove), but that stuff seriously interested me. but there’s no hope of that anymore, and now im in limbo, torn between pharmacy and bioscience, neither of which i even remotely want. the dentistry interview was a joke, i remember telling them how i flossed every day in the hope that it would impress them. i mean. really. wtf.

i feel like some ungrateful brat, tossing about wasting my parents’ money and whingeing on about how all the singapore courses aren’t What I Want when i should be so lucky im even in uni at all. it’s about fucking time i grew up and decided on something, anything.

but i dread having to live with the consequences of yet another decision made solely for the sake of making a decision.

fuck. this isnt wittering on about whether or not to buy a bag any more, this is about wasting time and money and my youth. WHEN AM I FINALLY GOING TO BE ABLE TO MAKE A PROPER DECISION HUH.

i need someone to slap me really hard. now.